Category Archives: Nintendo Cartoons

The Beauty of Kootie

Now it’s time for Episode 4 of The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3. The Beauty of Kootie. As ever Princess Toadstool will be called Peach, Bowser/Koopa will be used interchangeably and for this episode only I will call Wendy Kootie as it’s in the episode title.

The episode opens with the Sultan of Desert land in the bath when the water turns to oil so the most logical thing in the episode happens: he calls the Mario brothers because they are plumbers. It should be noted that the Sultan sounds like the exact voice you would put on if you were pretending to be Indian.

“Where has the oil come from?” Toad asks in what is one of his only two lines of the episode, no Scrappy Dooing for you today. Well the oil comes from Kootie and Larry who are stealing the oil for Bowser Dubya Koopa. Kootie and Larry keep changing colours for some reason including Larry having a purple head at one point. Larry’s plan is to use one of the wands to turn Kootie into ‘Mario’s dream girl’ and he does it but she still has a tail.

Isn’t she loooooooovely?

Right on cue Mario and Luigi walk in and Mario gives out a huge “Whoa!” in true 1940’s Looney Tunes perving. Kootie introduces herself as ‘Lady Fettuccine Alfredo’ because Mario’s Italian and likes Pasta I assume. Luigi points out her tail and she’s offended. She hits Luigi with it and Mario fails to notice this.

Somehow a table with candles and spaghetti turns up without any explanation. Romantic or what? Kootie leads the other characters to the dungeon for some reason leaving Mario and Luigi behind. Larry removes the spell and Mario’s disgusted that he fell for his rivals 16 year old daughter. The Koopaling’s hit the brothers with oil and are blasted away.

Bowser turns up to gloat to the Sultan and we have a quick shot of Mario and Luigi who climb a pipe. The manage to climb up and escape just as Kootie says to Peach “you’ll never see the Mario brothers again”. Peach sees this and doesn’t hide this fact very well. Somehow though Mario and Luigi sneak in behind Kootie and Larry and steal the magic wand.

What’s the plan? Well Mario turns Luigi into Casanova Koopa. If you believe that the Koopalings and Bowser have the surname of Koopa this could be pretty awkward. Mario tells Luigi to put on a different voice and he ends up with a suave sexy voice, it is hilarious.

No I’m definitely not Luigi

Luigi goes straight in with the kiss and asks for privacy and Kootie kicks everyone out of the dungeon. Larry turns colour again as Kootie accidentally turns Luigi back. She then shouts “Auuugh I’ve been kissed by a plumber” which reminds me of Lucy van Pelt in my Christmas tradition movie: A Charlie Brown Christmas when Snoopy kisses her.

The Koopalings chase Luigi up the stairs where you see Mario and the gang who have done some sort of plan. Peach turns a pipe to fire oil which means one thing: music interlude time. The music ends with Bowser getting hit by water and asks for the Doom Ship and within 5 seconds it’s smashed through the wall of the castle.

You know in SMB3 when you get a letter from one of the kings? I always read that in an Indian accent, and the more the Sultan speaks in this episode makes me think I got this from this episode as a kid. What happens next I’m not sure on but somehow the Sultans castle collapses due to water and oil combo and Mario is on a pipe thing that looks like a camel.

Pre-FLUDD days

The Doom Ship has turned green and Mario hits it with with oil and Bowser and his crew run off.  Luigi finds the wand which fixes the palace and the episode ends with some Mario/Luigi bickering.

How do Mario and Luigi beat Bowser? By pouring oil into the Doom Ship despite the whole episode being about Larry, Kootie and Bowser wanting to steal said oil.

 

Advertisements

Mind your Mummy Mommy, Mario

It’s time for Episode 3 of The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3, I’ll try to get an episode ‘review’ up every week. This episode is called Mind your Mummy Mommy, Mario. As ever Toadstool will be called Peach, Bowser/Koopa will be used interchangeably and I will use the Koopalings game names (in this case Lemmy and Iggy rather than Hip and Hop).

We start with Lemmy and Iggy in the Pyramid from world 2 of SM3. Their voices are incredibly annoying as they sound like 5-year-old kids. Anyhow they are looking for a Mummy case but are spooked by Dry Bones and they smash a pot. This causes another Mummy case to make Mario jumping noises and they get scared even more. They quickly grab the case which looks like Mario and run off. The other case opens and a Mummy comes to life to chase them.

We cut to Mario sleeping and he has a duvet that has mushrooms, a raccoon leaf and blocks on it. Oh he’s also sleeping holding a spanner and a plunger (because you know he’s a plumber). Just to top it off his moustache is brown rather than the normal black and the M has vanished from his hat (why is he sleeping with his hat on?).

Sheer bliss!

He’s rudely awaken by a Mushroom boy who tells them that a Mummy is attacking Desert Land. We cut to the Mummy chasing two Mushroom’s and she’s asking “Where is my son?”. Yup you’ve guessed what’s coming I bet she’ll think Mario is her son.

Lemmy and Iggy run off with the Mario look-alike mummy but the original Mummy is kicking right off throwing stuff all over the shop. The Mario brothers, Toad and Peach turn up and through a process of elimination Peach decides that Mario should handle the Mummy and they should go stop the Koopalings.

Within about 5 seconds the Mummy sees Mario and as expected thinks Mario is her son. Mario runs off but with no effort at all is caught by the Mummy who promptly gives him a kiss. As Luigi and co. are chasing the Koopalings but the airship comes and saves the day. Thanks Bowser for that who tries to rub salt in the wound by noting that they were the youngest Koopalings and could still succeed. Next up is Toad showing why I hate him in the cartoons “I dare you to come back and say that to my face”, he’s almost like Scrappy Doo.

Lemme at em! Lemme at em!

Luigi’s a bit upset at Mario being kidnapped and for some reason they need a map to know where the pyramid is despite being there earlier in the episode. Toad notes he has a cousin who sells maps and we see the cousin who seems to be a wheeler-dealer. Mario is the Mushroom Kingdoms hero and this map is needed to save them but Toad’s cousin still charges Princess Peach for the map. He even calls her your highness, it would be like the Queen asking me for a map so she could save James Bond and me charging her.

Back in the pyramid and Mario is told he’s cranky and needs to have a 10,000 year nap and is wrapped up in bandages. He hops away but the Mummy stops him. What I don’t get is why the Mummy is treating Mario like a kid, I get that he looks like her son but he has a moustache. Unless her son is a hipster then he would be an adult, surely.

We cut to Luigi who is in raccoon mood and pulling a ‘steam cloud balloon’ which has never appeared in a game. It’s basically a hot air balloon disguised as a cloud and doesn’t really make any sense. A tweester comes and breaks the balloon. Luigi is quite upset by this.

Really, really upset.

Ever the optimist Peach offers some reassurance “At least Koopa’s guards haven’t spotted us” which is a good point. It’s not like you have anyone in the party who will look over the top of the cast and shout “Until now” causing Paragoombas to fly off telling Bowser. Oh wait you do, he’s called Toad. Good going.

Somehow they just walk off and find the original Mario style mummy case and Luigi wonders what would Mario do? I bet WWMD bracelets would sell well unless someone pointed out the similarities to Weapons of Mass Destruction, I think I’ll nix that idea. So what would Mario do? Apparently he would make the Mummy case into a sled (in desert land!) using the balloon thing. The Paragoombas are shown talking to Bowser who then calls out Peach but the gang use the Sled to escape as we enter song mode for a minute or so.

We then cut to the Mummy as Mario has noticed she’s asleep and escapes with a high jump, and sees the gang. Luigi gives Mario a hug which somehow makes the bandages fall off his face and Peach unties something at the back which makes him spin and the rest fall off. She then asks where the Mummy is and Mario says “I left her in the tomb, there’s no way she can get to us”. Before he’s even finished saying the word tomb she’s smashed through the wall of the pyramid. She’s a bit annoyed about this but Peach points out the error that Mario’s not her son. She says Mario looks nothing like her son but Luigi looks like her husband and the gang run off to end the episode.

No real reason, I just love this picture.

Reptiles in the rose garden

A nice break in amongst all the E3 buzz brings us to Episode 2 of The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3. This episode is called Reptiles in the Rose Garden. As ever Toadstool will be called Peach, Bowser/Koopa will be used interchangeably and Kootie Pie I will call Wendy

The episode opens with Bowser giving Wendy some presents but she’s not impressed. For her birthday she wants America. Bowser tries to reason as it’s in the real world however Wendy takes a mega huff.

We cut to our four heroes, Luigi is a bit overjoyed because when a party is thrown for a Koopaling they stayed “kooped up” for the day. Before he’s even finished saying that an airship appears and fires at them. Mario feels the need to point this out for us.Peach says she’ll stall them and doesn’t even attempt to do anything as Chain Chomps are thrown out and bite them all. Wendy likes to tell us that she will be empress of America. The Chain Chomps still have the heroes bitten as Koopa orders them to the dungeon. It should be noted that there is no chance of the Chain Chomps taking the four to the dungeon, just look how small they are:

Seriously.

Cut to the White House where the president is inside on a red phone that looks like 1960s Batman.

Koopa asks the sledge brothers to attack but they lift up the White House with a levitation beam. He gets the most top-heavy characters in the show to press a button a beam. Really?

All Koopa does is say that America is under control of Kootie Pie via a mega phone and they accept it. She makes three laws which are:

-Law Number One: Kids in America must give Wendy their toys.
-Law Number Two: Any handsome boy who does not ask Wendy for a date will be turned into a rock. At this point there’s a queue of stereotypical early 90s school kids (including black sports guy and ginger nerd). Bowser turns them into rocks.
-Law Number Three: All the gold in Fort Knox will be melted down to make a lifetime supply of charm bracelets for Wendy. This is done by the weird-looking Goombas on a machine with Bowsers face on the front. The charms have a skull, lizard, mace and the prince symbol. Koopa is so happy he cries and lead America in pledging an alleigance on the repulsiveness on which she stand.

You must abide by all three laws. Anythign else is game.

Back to the dungeon (how did they get there) and they notice the president who is STILL on the phone and hasn’t noticed a thing. Peach does what only a princess could do best and sets two allies against each others as the boomerang brothers take on the fire brothers.

The heroes are still being bitten by the Chain Chomps and go in the cross fire as the chains are broken and they just jump down the warp pipe. Koopa uses his megaphone to tell the rest of the Koopalings they did it. They’re chuffed as it keeps her quiet. They decide to put the White House at the bottom of the mushroom sea. Then Mrs President (who looks like Babs Bush) cries for help, the president can’t swim.

Babs Bush?

Mario gets a frog suit and goes to save the day. It’s song time as Mario is chased by bloopers.

Babs asks If Mario’s from the secret service he says he’s from “the Super Mario Bros. plumbing service.” She’s fine with this. Mario saves the day by doing some plumbing and the president suddenly has glasses. Due to Mario’s plumbing the White House floats to the surface (don’t ask, I don’t know). Luigi appears and says that Koopa’s going to attack London, Paris and Brooklyn. The same Brooklyn that is in America. Is there a revolt? I flipping well hope so.

Mario and Luigi are disguised as Sledge brothers and are quickly found out. This bit is great as when the Sledge Brothers jump the whole ship shakes. Somehow Luigi fires a cannon at them and Mario pilots the ship.

Yes Mario somehow knows how to pilot the airship as he moves the White House on top of the Washington Memorial. He does eventually put it back in its rightful place (on top of Wendy) but then Wendy is fine stood on the lawn.

She’s no longer in charge and kicks off again as Mario sends her back. The Airship comes back through and the tail looks like the UK at the back. Wendy says its Bowsers fault.Bowser lays the smackdown and tells her to clean her room (it’s still her birthday good grief).He’s quite angry here, child line would not be impressed.

Best thing about the episode? Toad said nothing.

 

Sneaky Lying Cheating Giant Ninja Koopas

In the late 80s/early 90s there was a famous survey which asked kids which cartoon character they recognised more. In a shock turn of events Mario came ahead of Mickey Mouse and one such show that helped this was The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3. Tucked away between the Super Mario Bros. Super Show (with Capt. Lou Albano) and Super Mario World (with Yoshi) the show proved somewhat popular at the time. Due to this I thought I’d review the first episode of the series.

As this was SMB3 Bowser was called Koopa (despite being called Bowser in the SMB1 instruction manual), Peach was called Toadstool and the Koopalings have completely different names all together.

We open to Koopa laying the smack-down on his kids and he has two of the weirdest Goomba’s ever at his side. They look more like mushrooms/toads and for whatever reason they have a headband around their head. They unveil a portrait of the new ruler of Giant Land: Prince Hugo. I’m quite interested to see how Hugo’s the new ruler that the previous ruler who was turned into a dinosaur (DK Jr. in the all-stars version) yet has been usurped by Prince Hugo. The original ruler was a human whilst Hugo is a Mushroom/Toad.

Koopa’s plan here is to make four of his Koopalings into giant ninjas to go and take down Hugo. Why four? Well it’s the easiest way to parody the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I guess that makes sense and it’s a shame they don’t eat pizza just to push the parody home.

Prince Hugo of Giant land…yup!

Mario, Luigi, Toad and Peach are called to see Prince Hugo who asks for their help. Now I really don’t get how the Mushroom Kingdom works when it comes to royalty, I always had Peach as a supreme ruler who had killed her parents to take control with rulers in the 8 worlds to do her bidding so it makes sense that Hugo would ask for help with this situation. Mario of course says yes to this and also there’s an annoying parrot. Mario jumps off to the warp pipe in one leap ready to save the day but the taller Luigi who in most games can jump higher than Mario has to bounce off a random canopy thing. Great stuff.

So Mario and Luigi come out of the warp pipe to find the four Koopalings and what happens next is just so funny. Mario jumps off the pipe and Luigi gets scared so Mario says “don’t worry I’ll catch you” so Luigi jumps and of course they tumble. Luigi gets a bit annoyed at this and Mario quickly comes up with an excuse “Oh the Sun was in my eyes” then out of nowhere the Sun that attacks you in Desert lands appears and says “No I wasn’t” then starts attacking them. Eventually the Mario Bros. find a raccoon leaf and the Sun things they’re other people to which Mario says he’s not “very bright”. Bravo. Now for some reason the Mario Bros. decide to head back to the castle. This is the same castle they just left not too long ago.

I love being a Koopa!

In the castle the giant Koopalings are giving it what for, they show off their skills and of course Mario/Luigi turn up to save the day. Toad does his “yeah they’re the Mario Bros. you’ll be sorry” thing that he seems to do through every show he’s in. Anyways one of the Koopalings somehow manages to blow a tornado knocking Mario on the floor but he still keeps his tail. Out of nowhere a Pirhana Plant comes out of a warp pipe and bites the tail, you can genuinely feel the crunch. In a moment of madness Luigi loses his powers and ends up in a cage with Peach and Toad whilst Hugo’s taken. The annoying parrot is thrown on the floor. At this point the TMNT parody is in full swing as one of the Koopalings shouts “I love being a Koopa!”

 The parrot is a dick here, he’s bigger than Mario and Mario asks the parrot to fly so they can save the day and the parrot says no. The reason is because he doesn’t want to leave his cage. Good grief, Mario tells him they’ll save the cage too so he agrees.

Meanwhile in Castle Koopa Koopa says a job well done to his four kids (the other three have seemingly vanished) and for some reason turns Hugo into a poodle. Whilst this is going on Mario and the parrot turn up through the back. What has happened here is one of two things: Either Mario has gone through the full castle like he does in the games or he’s found a back door in. If that’s the case it would make future games a lot easier but if he did go through the castle he did it pretty quickly and was probably controlled by one of those “I did SMB in 3 minutes” type people. Anyways Mario switches the wands over (despite them being colour coded) and lays some smack talk on Koopa. Koopa goes to make Mario smaller but lo and behold Mario becomes a big massive kung fu guy and for some reason Luigi is red in this scene.

Luigi has a change of clothes in this cage seemingly.

So now’s the terrible song bit that most Mario shows have and in that montage the day is saved, the parrot does nothing and Koopa and the Koopalings do one despite it being their castle. The show ends with the parrot being annoyed that the cage is broken and Mario says he’ll fix it but then grabs a wand, makes himself bigger (he’s already bigger than Mario) and then starts karate kicking Mario. The End.

%d bloggers like this: