Sneaky Lying Cheating Giant Ninja Koopas
In the late 80s/early 90s there was a famous survey which asked kids which cartoon character they recognised more. In a shock turn of events Mario came ahead of Mickey Mouse and one such show that helped this was The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3. Tucked away between the Super Mario Bros. Super Show (with Capt. Lou Albano) and Super Mario World (with Yoshi) the show proved somewhat popular at the time. Due to this I thought I’d review the first episode of the series.
As this was SMB3 Bowser was called Koopa (despite being called Bowser in the SMB1 instruction manual), Peach was called Toadstool and the Koopalings have completely different names all together.
We open to Koopa laying the smack-down on his kids and he has two of the weirdest Goomba’s ever at his side. They look more like mushrooms/toads and for whatever reason they have a headband around their head. They unveil a portrait of the new ruler of Giant Land: Prince Hugo. I’m quite interested to see how Hugo’s the new ruler that the previous ruler who was turned into a dinosaur (DK Jr. in the all-stars version) yet has been usurped by Prince Hugo. The original ruler was a human whilst Hugo is a Mushroom/Toad.
Koopa’s plan here is to make four of his Koopalings into giant ninjas to go and take down Hugo. Why four? Well it’s the easiest way to parody the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I guess that makes sense and it’s a shame they don’t eat pizza just to push the parody home.
Mario, Luigi, Toad and Peach are called to see Prince Hugo who asks for their help. Now I really don’t get how the Mushroom Kingdom works when it comes to royalty, I always had Peach as a supreme ruler who had killed her parents to take control with rulers in the 8 worlds to do her bidding so it makes sense that Hugo would ask for help with this situation. Mario of course says yes to this and also there’s an annoying parrot. Mario jumps off to the warp pipe in one leap ready to save the day but the taller Luigi who in most games can jump higher than Mario has to bounce off a random canopy thing. Great stuff.
So Mario and Luigi come out of the warp pipe to find the four Koopalings and what happens next is just so funny. Mario jumps off the pipe and Luigi gets scared so Mario says “don’t worry I’ll catch you” so Luigi jumps and of course they tumble. Luigi gets a bit annoyed at this and Mario quickly comes up with an excuse “Oh the Sun was in my eyes” then out of nowhere the Sun that attacks you in Desert lands appears and says “No I wasn’t” then starts attacking them. Eventually the Mario Bros. find a raccoon leaf and the Sun things they’re other people to which Mario says he’s not “very bright”. Bravo. Now for some reason the Mario Bros. decide to head back to the castle. This is the same castle they just left not too long ago.
In the castle the giant Koopalings are giving it what for, they show off their skills and of course Mario/Luigi turn up to save the day. Toad does his “yeah they’re the Mario Bros. you’ll be sorry” thing that he seems to do through every show he’s in. Anyways one of the Koopalings somehow manages to blow a tornado knocking Mario on the floor but he still keeps his tail. Out of nowhere a Pirhana Plant comes out of a warp pipe and bites the tail, you can genuinely feel the crunch. In a moment of madness Luigi loses his powers and ends up in a cage with Peach and Toad whilst Hugo’s taken. The annoying parrot is thrown on the floor. At this point the TMNT parody is in full swing as one of the Koopalings shouts “I love being a Koopa!”
The parrot is a dick here, he’s bigger than Mario and Mario asks the parrot to fly so they can save the day and the parrot says no. The reason is because he doesn’t want to leave his cage. Good grief, Mario tells him they’ll save the cage too so he agrees.
Meanwhile in Castle Koopa Koopa says a job well done to his four kids (the other three have seemingly vanished) and for some reason turns Hugo into a poodle. Whilst this is going on Mario and the parrot turn up through the back. What has happened here is one of two things: Either Mario has gone through the full castle like he does in the games or he’s found a back door in. If that’s the case it would make future games a lot easier but if he did go through the castle he did it pretty quickly and was probably controlled by one of those “I did SMB in 3 minutes” type people. Anyways Mario switches the wands over (despite them being colour coded) and lays some smack talk on Koopa. Koopa goes to make Mario smaller but lo and behold Mario becomes a big massive kung fu guy and for some reason Luigi is red in this scene.
So now’s the terrible song bit that most Mario shows have and in that montage the day is saved, the parrot does nothing and Koopa and the Koopalings do one despite it being their castle. The show ends with the parrot being annoyed that the cage is broken and Mario says he’ll fix it but then grabs a wand, makes himself bigger (he’s already bigger than Mario) and then starts karate kicking Mario. The End.